Stopping Milk Production

I’m really debating on doing so, but dear god does it make me cry my eyes out thinking about doing it. I love being able to provide food that’s beyond healthy for my child, but this journey has been quite difficult. We were separated shortly after birth because he was a preemie, and I hemorrhaged. This made him have nipple confusion since they had to give him formula to eat while they were trying to help me, so he refused to breastfeed. He wouldnt even try to latch on.

Since we got home, he latches on but only for 5 minutes at most. So now, I mainly exclusively pump. Which by all means, is the absolute worse. It hurts so fucking bad at this point. By the end of the day, my nipples are in the worse pain. They’re raw, bleeding, sore & I’m in tears from all of it. It hurts for anything to touch my nipples are this point. I cry putting bras on but have to since I leak so much. I’m so over the pain & stress from constantly pumping. It’s so much work and I absolutely hate it. Even though it’s beyond hard for me, I still want to do it. I just know it’d be so less stressful on me if I stopped.

Idk what to do. I really really don’t. I just wanted rant about this mainly cause no one gets why it’s so upsetting and think I’m over reacting. And please don’t suggest things to help with me fully switching to breast ... I promise you I’ve tried everything.