Without your spouse and all alone and with porn and your vibrator ? Or is that wrong ?

It’s just my husband works 4 business and is never in the mood for sex ever and we are trying to have a baby and I feel like pleasing him is impossible. Either it’s a fucking adventure to get him off or he’s off before I get on ! It’s never in tune. Sometimes I’m like when the duck is it gonna be over other times I’m like keep going why are you stopping we just started ?

Then I have to finish myself in the bath tub or after he’s fallen asleep. Is masturbating wrong ? Does god look down upon me for it ?