My boyfriend beat me up not once not twice, yesterday as we all know majority of the stores weren’t up I had a friend call his job and no answer a couple of times. I texted him he blocked me none of my calls or text went thru. Before he left the house he was telling me he was gonna text me when he got there, he than texted me when he got to work he was gonna get out at 7pm. When 7pm came I had woken up from a nap and had this bad feeling in my stomach I just wanted to throw up. I tried to get a hold of him and the day before he was telling me he was gonna meet up with some girl he calls his sister who really ain’t his sister in reality I guess it’s a long time friend he lost touch with who he was really close with. It was a girl. I had messaged her asking if ____ was with her, he had mentioned seeing you and your family yesterday and was wondering if he changed his mind to seeing you guys today. She had responded no. Before I even messaged her I message his cousin and his brother since they had his location. Not to long ago his brother and him had got into a physical fight because he hit me and he blocked his brother according to him. His cousin said he can’t see his location he has it off. Whatever he comes home at 11pm and I had stepped out to grab my brother who’s car shut off in the expressway I came home maybe 10 mins after him though and seen him in the bathroom washing his dick off while talking to a female voice on the phone. I grabbed his dick and felt it stick wet I closed the door and walked Into our bedroom and started packing my bags. He than came in the room while the female voice is still on the phone on speaker, he than whispered in my ear what the fuck is my problem. I than complete let all my emotions out and said this is bullshit and your a completely a dick. I was worried sick about you while you over here fucking some bitch. ... point blank he hung up on her and I’m still packing my bag and he grabbed me by the hair his mom walks in saying we need to stop arguing we need to grow up I’m trynna get out of him pulling my hair. can’t really remember much but I kept saying I’m done over and done. I kept repeating it he punched me near my lip and kept grabbing my hair and throwing me on the floor to the hall way. I kept shouting leave me the fuck alone. I ended up in the living room. && he left back towards the room. His mom is sitting across from me now saying us young females need to leave the guys alone. Stop tracking him down it should be the other way around. It’s my fault for not trusting him, that I’m so insecure. But in reality he got shot I felt that I knew something bad happen. Someone intoxicates his drink while he was lost downtown with a disable phone i felt that and was able to find him when we live an hour away who knew he was gonna be downtown. I felt everything every trama. I felt him coming home when he left clubs, parties, friends home. I have a bond with him no one else understands. When we broke up and he was messing with people my heart felt it and I didn’t understand what was going on. How am I not suppose to feel some type of way last night when none of my calls were going thru, he said he was suppose to be getting home hours ago. I didn’t ask what time he said he was gonna be home at 7. What??? She said “you young females are dumb so insecure and need to grow up and let him do what he will do”. I wanted to leave last night. When I grab my phone out the room and keys I got that chance to go take a breather and drive around. Deep down I can’t go to my mom, don’t have my family anymore they all got boyfriends and forgot what family was anymore, decline calls, don’t got much friends who would be up at 2am or any who would be there for me. I cried in my car sitting at a market parking lot. I cried. I couldn’t call the cops on a guy I honestly love. He kept saying if you leave were over. He blames me for so much when In reality I didn’t do much. He kept calling me while I was crying to someone on the phone. I told him I couldn’t go on anymore. He kept telling me to come grab my shit and leave. But deep down I know he wouldn’t let me leave when my friend convinced me to grab my stuff. I sat outside the home for an hour he kept calling me. I finally went in and he does this thing where he convinced me he loves me. The whole time he kept calling me I finally let him talk while my friend was on the phone she said he such a manipulator. He said it’s my fault. He said he was depressed from the start, he regrets getting with me , if he could go back he wouldn’t be with me. I asked why he was with me than he said I ruined his life but if we weren’t together he would be successful in the music career. I said why are you with me why aren’t you letting me leave he said I know you can change I know you can be better. I kept telling him he made me feel like shit he compliments other girls and just cause me fat when in reality I weight under 130 tone stomach others would say a athlete body they all say I’m not fat, just fat in the ass. He made me get in the gym. He said if i work out in his eyes I would finally be bad to him. I wanted to leave but I can’t leave now that he’s out I finally can pack my stuff and get out but I can’t leave. I’m here laying in bed with a bruised bloody lip crying typing this. I do love this guy don’t I? I didn’t call the cops because i can’t do that to him. Everyone I ever spoke to in the past said it’s dangerous and i should involved the police. I can’t leave I know it’s best but I love the guy. He said he didn’t do shit but he with his guys but we all know he did some when he was washing his dick and it was a sticky feeling when I felt it. What he does at work yesterday i believe it wasn’t busy since no one was on the street because of the weather I never once seen him wash his dick after work just his face and body. I know something up especially when he sleeps next to his phone and turns/ twist his phone in the other direction when I’m near or coming by. Why can’t I leave. 😞 my body right below