I posted about this last night but just so some know what im venting about..I found out my friend/ex had passed away from a drug overdose yesterday morning.

Today I was happy that my fiance was going to work so I could cry and do whatever without having to cover up why I was crying or be asked what was wrong. ( he knows, but I guess I don't want him to see how upset I am). After my son was sound asleep, I got to come out to the living room and break down on the couch. Scream into pillows and talk to God out loud.. I was able to do dishes and cry while doing them, but end up on the floor crying in pain. Seeing his obituary today and seeing his picture in the paper, just hurts so bad and leaves me speechless. I just don't understand and maybe I never will. All I know is I wish I could of done more. I wish I could of saved you. I wish I could hear your voice one more time. I wish I could of told you how great of a person you were. I wish I just had one more day to make you understand. Im sorry you were hurting and no one seemed to know. But your gone now.. Maybe one day I'll be okay, but today, today I will not be okay. .

Rip Angel. You'll forever be missed. ♡