Wishing for a rainbow 🌈🌈🌈

It's been 2 years since this roller coaster began..... I've been pregnant twice during that two years with 3 babies, all come and gone. I don't even know my own feelings anymore. Every month I watch on as people on here and people I know get there positive and I'm left Wondering when will it be our turn?? I'm truly heartbroken 💔 and I don't know how to fix it. I'm pushing my husband away slowly but surely, and I can't stop it. I've asked for help with no luck, friends aren't interested anymore and families don't want to talk. I've been to the doctors and nothing I don't know what else to do. Somebody tell me things get easier 🤞🤞 please xx