I’m here to complain about miscarriages.

I’m assuming you’re here because you’ve had one as well.

First, I’m very sorry for your loss.

Second, you’re not alone.

Approximately 25 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage.

Just because that’s a high rate and you’re not alone in this, doesn’t make it any better.

I feel so alone in my miscarriages.

I always crave connection and bitching to others about miscarriages, but I still feel like the only woman in the world who can’t stay pregnant.

My miscarriages are a little different. I’ve had recurrent miscarriages, 2 or more consecutive losses in a row. I’ve had 5.

Only 2% of women experience recurrent loss.

So while I am in a very small group of women, it makes a little more sense for me to feel alone.

Today I was at lunch with my husband. Public outings can be so hard for me.

There was a family or 5 at the table across from us.

I often feel jealous of other families, but I try not to. So my first response was, What a cute little family. The dad has red hair, like my husband, and they had 2 ginger boys running around and a teenager.

I was able to for a moment be happy for that family and not let it bother me.

Well then I noticed the mother was pregnant and at that point I could no longer be happy for them. They obviously did nothing to upset me, but I had this thought of you can have 4 kids and I cant have 1. That’s not fair. I don’t believe in God anymore, it’s a personal choice and please don’t try to persuade me otherwise. But it’s moments like these that I know there isn’t a God. A God would not allow for this family to have plenty of children and me to have none. I know that its my biology that won’t allow me to have children.

Dammit I want that ladies super fertile body for just 9 months.

I’ve had all the tests done, everything is normal. But my biology just does not like babies.

If you feel alone like me or have any experiences like me, please feel free to message me. I’m always looking for someone to support and connect with. Miscarriages suck!