I have suicidal thoughts.

I’m in a shitty relationship, have no job, no car..

I’m pregnant and have 2 kids.

My SO constantly yells at me and blames me for everything wrong in his life.

He’s banged my head against the car window multiple times.. pushed me.. hit me..

but mostly it’s emotional/mental abuse. Almost Everyday.

Sometimes he will yell at me for hours.

And then once I start having a panic attack he acts like he wasn’t just treating me like shit and try to comfort me and then try to have sex. Even if I say no he’ll either continue anyways even if I try to stop him from taking my pants off or I’ll wake up to him doing shit to me at night.

He’s cheated on me with his ex for the first few years of the relationship.

I want to leave. I need to leave. I don’t know how much more I can take before it drives me to suicide but the only person that says they’ll help ends up the day they said they’d get me saying are you sure? Or let’s do it next weekend it’s too cold and I have no one here. No friends. I live a few hours away from family.

I know I have kids I should think about the kids and not do anything stupid but he’s always making me feel like the kids are better off without me anyways. And maybe they are... what do I have for them. Nothing. He pays the bills. I do nothing.

I’m just so broken.