So me and my husband have been together for several years.. we have been married for a few months. We have 2 kids together and he has a kid from a previous marriage. I know I'm probably going to get a LOT of flak for what is about to be stated next but I dont know how to respond properly.

I told him the other day I was done. I have been taking care of a lot of things for him over the years and then I get told how he doesnt want to be treated like a baby. However I have allowed him to make some decisions on his own and they have blown up in my face. He doesnt manage money well and no we dont have accounts together for that reason. He has had multiple job changes and he changes what he wants to do like he changes underwear. He was going to college then quit. He lost his job a few months ago and I have to pick up the slack while he stays home. He says he has a lot of applications in but nothing for more than 10 an hour so he wont do it. He tells at me to change my job but I just got a supervisor role and have been with this company for 11 years. I'm not about to do that when I make more than he would ever. He wants to do a trade school now at 36 years old. I dont want to be around this instability anymore. I dont want my kids to see it. He says we should take it day by day but still wants to tell me who I can and cant talk to and asks to monitor my phone because I was talking to an old friend and he is treating me like I'm his first wife and have plans to cheat on him.

I cant kick him out as we own the house together but he keeps trying to get back through my defenses. He told me he took pictures of me naked the other night while I was sleeping and he said he knows we will be banging again soon because I cant resist him.. I really feel stuck. I dont know how to do this safely or make it very clear I'm done ...because no matter what I say he blows it off... any help would be nice.

EDIT: I am done done. No counseling. He and I got into a fight when leaving th house today. All because I sat down due to some cramps and asked when we were taking care of some things (he just had minor surgery for diverticulitis this weekend) it went all the way left for both of us. I reminded him of how I paid for so much and he said how I opened my legs for him so it made his decision to be w me easier in the beginning. He then proceeded to tell me how much i need therapy and I'm crazy etc etc.. he said I didnt tell him i was having issues (i dont know how being mad about money, the fact i bust my ass all the time, and having someone i have to tell repeatedly what i need from a relationship isnt signs but eventually you stop talking about it.) And he had no clue. Asked why I still married him despite the issues (I really hoped things would get better but apparently that was the wrong answer).. he acts like he was not aware of all these things... he wants to blame me for him not having a job but he quit working overnights because he couldn't sleep and it wasnt right for him to work and then take care of our kids. He lived on energy drinks and cigarettes and kept saying how he couldn't do it and wanted a day job but we cant do full time daycare. Even having both kids in daycare 3 days a week so he could sleep wasnt good enough. So after months of complaining I told him to just stay home. But then it's my fault. Nm he didnt think about his child support to.his other child he would still be responsible for. Again he wanted to make an adult decision and did not think about the full picture. He makes me feel like I'm crazy. Then he acts like nothing happened and everything is fine. I told him what we have isnt healthy. This is why he allegedly left his second wife (fighting and didnt want the kids around it) but hes doijg it again but wants to work on it. I am sorry but I know I deserve better and I forgot my worth. Now that I've been working on me and not the way he wants me to where he can still do this shit and get away w it he doesnt like it.