I find myself sitting in a parking lot crying .I am having a really bad day.i can feel my depression coming out and I don't know how to deal with it.its making me doubt everthing .my husband isn't helping the problem.he has been pushing me away for some time.i had really bad depression while ttc baby 1 it took 8 years and 2 months before it happened ,been trying for baby 2 and its been 5 years already and my depression is back .its not helping that my husband is pushing me away.i haven't slept in my bed for 2 nights and to him its no big deal.i can't get into my doctor for a week.im so lost .i have feelings of my marriage is over .i already have very low self esteem.i don't know what to do with my feelings.