How bad am I?

Question

So my boyfriend/fiancé have been together for 5 years. I'm about to turn 20. I have graduated college and am a full-time nurse with a steady salary. I really want to have a child. I am going back to grad school and this will be the only time that I can have a year without school. (Therefore, my only chance to get pregnant for around 5 years.) 
My man LOVES children and I know he would be thrilled if I got pregnant. But he does not want to try to have children as it would make him feel guilty since he is not as far along in college as I am and therefore cannot provide as much as he would like to. Should I try to get pregnant? I know we will be together and more than likely will be getting married in the next 3 years. If I were to do this, he could not know about it. Does this make me a bad person? Just to summarize: myself = ❤️👶🏼❓man= 🚫💰🚫👶🏼

Answer

Yes if you got pregnant on purpose behind his back it would make you a horrible person

Answer

If you love and respect him, I can't believe you're even considering trying to conceive without his consent and knowledge! It's not fair!

How would you feel if you didn't want to have children at this time and you trusted your partner to use a condom or pull out and he'd just decide he wants a child and get you pregnant without your consent!

Even if it's YOU that gets pregnant, it's BOTH your child, so you should be open and talk to him and if he's not ready respect him enough to wait and have a child when you're both ready, I'm sure you'll be much happier then.

You're super young, there's no rush!

Answer

You two have to decide together. It's not ok to get pregnant on purpose when he's asking you to wait.

Answer

Dont trick a guy you love and care for into having a child... You seriously have plenty of time for children... Let him get caught up some..

Answer

Once you have a baby your life is never about you again. That's ok, you sound like you are going to be an amazing mom. But honestly, please wait. There are so many things that you can't do once you have kids. You are only 20, you are still essentially a kid. The amount of change that happens in your 20's is substantial. Take a few years to enjoy your man. Get through grad school with a quarter of the stress. Get really established in your career.  If you get pregnant and he's not ready you are sabotaging both of your lives it's really not fair to him.

Answer

I don't know if it would make you a "horrible person" but having a baby responsibly means both the father and mother to be making that decision together. You are incredibly young and trying to balance have a first born with school might be difficult. You might have complications , you could get sick, your baby (God forbid) could be sick or have some sort of developmental issues which could possibly ruin your chances of getting into grad school (being able to go that is not academically) and being successful in grad school. It could potentially (hopefully not!) ruin you future. There is no magic time to have a child but you should wait until you are both ready and you should probably wait until you are done with grad school and until he is stable to avoid any unforeseen complications

Answer

Girl, wait until you're 25. And it's possible to have a baby during school, too.

But 25 isn't too old for a baby. And it's despicable to get pregnant on purpose without informing your partner. It's his child too.

Answer

Personally, I would wait. You are going back to school in a little bit and you don't want to have to juggle and kid and classes and all that. I would wait until both of you have a steady income and you are done with school. Plus you have plenty of time to get pregnant after you graduate. What's the big rush. You'll be 25. That's a perfect age. :) Hope this helps a little bit.

Answer

Not a bad person, but talk it out with him. You can't make that choice on your own. It's his baby too.

Answer

Yes, yes it does. If he doesn't know about it, it's illegal and awful to do.

How bad am I?

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