So lately I've been depressed. I feel like I have no one to talk to except my husband. My depression makes me feel like I down fit in, like everyone hates me right now. I've been crying. I recently became a housewife (I love it). I've had two jobs for the most part since I was 16 to help support my mom and I. Then after that it was money to make my life better. College, buying my God kids (I have 5), nice gifts because I can't have babies because I had cancer (we've been trying for two years and it still hasn't happened for us). My "dad" was a deadbeat except nowadays he has a replacement family who he treats well apparently. His new family messages me and tells me how well he is to them, like I wanna hear it. My grandpa took me as his daughter. He did everything a dad would have done with his daughter, with the kid he helped create. My grandpa was one of the sweetest men ever. He called me baby and held me when I cried. It's what I needed. I needed my dad. I tried to spoil him with gifts in return of taking on another kid even though he didn't have to love me as a daughter, he could have lived his life with loving me the same way he did the rest of his grand babies. He passed away a little less than 3 years ago. The first words out if my mouth were that I lost my dad. I spent the first year thinking it was a bad dream. Like he just went to town and that any minute I would see him pull up in the driveway. I didn't have my dad to tell me not to work too hard, to get more sleep, ask me how college was going, fix my car 😂, just be there for me in general. I didn't have him to go to, to kiss on the cheek before I left to work nightshift at the local nursing home, or have someone to pull tiny pranks on me anymore, I miss his laugh, his short white beard, his sarcasm, showering him with his favorite candy (peach rings), fathers days gifts, talking on the front porch and everything in between. Enough of the sob story though, my life has been a series of up and downs. My husband and I use to live with his parents until his mom accused us of stealing their tablet. Like why would we ever steal from them? She said im not innocent, yes i am. Well then today I found out that my husbands family has unfriendly me on Facebook. I asked my husband what he thought I did wrong? He said it's probably his mom telling his family that I stole the tablet and they decided to unfriendly me or something. Idk. I have no friends anymore I feel like and this is just getting to me more than it should. I tried so hard to get his family to like me. First they didn't like me because I'm overweight, I showed them my true colors and shortly after his dad told my husband that I was the right one for him and his family. I thought I won over his mom too by spending time with her and showing her who I am. I'm a Mexican and she's racist. His dad is too, but I guess I changed his mind because he'll hug me now and tell me that I'm part of the family and is just down to earth with me. Not like my grandpa, no one will ever take place of my daddy. We havent spoken to my husbands family since before Christmas. I don't know, I guess depression has just taken ahold of my life right now. I can't stop thinking about my dad and if he'd still be proud of me. Then we're now living down from the road from my sperm donor of a stupid man and his replacement family. I know my life could be worse and I'm happy it's not, but I just needed to vent. As said, all I have to talk to right now is my husband and I just needed to type out my feelings. Trying to get out of this depressed state and get back to my housewife chores or lay in bed and cry some more. My husband deserves his wife back, the fresh baked cookies and the happy go lucky girl he married. Im trying to get her back. Have a good night yall. Thank you for letting me vent, even if no one reads this i feel a bit better now.