So my husband and I have an amazing 2 and 1/2 year old son. This Oct we will have been together 9 years. We wold like to have more kids but I’m not able too. When we were dating (like 3 weeks in) kids came up in conversation. We both said we wanted to adopt. We also both said we would like to have as many kids as we could comfortably afford. And we both said that being able to travel with our children was a top priority for us. My husband was well traveled as a child and he said seeing how other people live makes you a more open person. And I wanted my children to see that they could choose to live where and however made them happy. You can be a corporate guy in NEw York, you can teach dance in Thailand, you can be a ski instructor seasonally in Tahoe. Your life has endless possibilities. My husband and I have been able to do this with our son, and consider ourselves very lucky! We know we could afford to take care of 1-2 more kids very well. So right after I had my son we started to apply for adoption. This was before we even found out I couldn’t have more kids.

We were told that private adoption is around $30-$45k in CA. And that we would not be desirable by many birth mothers since we already have a biological child. Some agencies flat out told us they would not even work with us because it would be a waste of our time!

So we found an adoption attorney. Her advice is try to find a “match” or “birth mother” ourselves and go through an attorney for the process instead of an agency.

She mentioned a recent client being introduced to her child’s birth mother through a hair stylist they had in common.

So I know this is VERY far fetched, but if any of you read any posts, or personally know of any women, who are pregnant and not sure if they want to terminate, place baby for adoption, etc. please feel free to share my information (which I can provide via private message).

My family lives in CA and plan to follow ALL state laws with regards to adoption. In NO way are we looking to do anything unethical or questionable!!

1. We would pay for a social worker of your choosing to do as many home visits as you request. My recommendation is no less than 2.

2. We would cover all prenatal and delivery expenses that your insurance didn’t cover.

3. We ask that you confirm you are in a safe environment during the course of your pregnancy. And if you’re in an unsafe situation we would expect that you work with us to help you secure safe housing/ environment.

4. We would ask that you share medical updates throughout the course of your pregnancy.

5. We would want regular communication with you during the course of your pregnancy.

6. We would cover all legal expenses.

7. We are willing to provide an annual update via letter, photos, and video if you wanted that. We understand if you don’t want contact at all, and would never “push” for it.

8. The child would be told as early as possible they were adopted.

I posted this in the CC section of Glow because I’m sure some people are going to freak out about the idea of asking for adoption “referrals” or to be “matched” with a birth mother on this platform!

But I’m taking my attorneys advice and putting myself out there and exploring all platforms where we might meet people looking to place a child for adoption. We are also looking into international adoption but many countries have a long list of restrictions. So we are exploring ALL avenues. So no need to make that suggestion.

We also looked into foster care adoptions but we were informed that almost all foster children have been exposed to either drugs, alcohol, or very traumatic events. This can be very challenging for parents. And with us already having a child we want to keep his environment safe and stable. So, please know we did look into this. My heart breaks for kids in foster care, but we have to make sure we make the best choice possible for our son. And we have decided for us, it’s private adoption. So please no hateful comments about not going with foster care, this is already hard enough without people making it harder. Everyone deserves grace and dignity to make choices that are best for them personally.

About us:

My husband emigrated to CA as a freshman in high school. He is the most stable, hard working man I could ask for! He gets up in middle of the night at every sneeze and whimper our son makes to check on him. He is brilliant at math. He is the best travel partner as he can figure out public transit in any country just looking at a map that makes zero sense to me! He learned to snowboard just because he wanted to be able to teach his (then future) kids how to snowboard and to have a hobby with them as they grew up! How amazing is that? He started to learn in college with that as part of his motivation to try and get good at the sport. My husband’s mother worked for an airline as an executive during his childhood. So he is all about girl power and encouraging women to be as successful in their career as they want to be. No dates or sexist view points in that mans head. As a result of his mom’s career he got to travel extensively. So travel and snow trips to ski/snowboard are big family goals for us annually. We also love attending baseball games and hosting people at our house for dinners, barbecues, parties, etc. My husband has a very large extended family that we see regularly.

Myself is a different story. I grew up very low income. I never left CA until I was 25. I have 3 family members that I know their location. I make an effort to see them regularly, but gatherings with them are very different than my husbands loud, huge, amazing family. I struggled in math. But I excelled at science and literature. We are definitely a great balance for each other and make a great team.

Please send only love and good vibes to this thread! Wishing everyone a happy and healthy journey. And please feel free to private message me if you have any suggestions on a platform that might be helpful. Or if you noticed anyone in distress about an unwanted pregnancy please send them to my post. Even if they don’t choose us, it might be reassuring for them to know that their are lots of great families looking to adopt!