I have a friend that I feel feigns support. She has talked down to me for wanting to start a family with my husband. We’ve been together for close to 10 years and I’m graduating school soon. Her response is “you don’t want to have kids your first year on the job”. Quite frankly, I want to have kids soon because my fertility may be limited and it’s something my husband and I want. It doesn’t involve her finances or career.

Then this happened recently. I was talking about how I’m looking at cars for myself. We only have 1 car in our household, so I need one for commuting to school and work. My carpool buddies (friend included) were discussing how small my current vehicle was and I jokingly said “just wait, I’m looking at sports cars for myself”. I used to drive a special edition sports car and I miss it tremendously. I’ve found some that are in my price range that fit my requirements, so I am interested in a few. The friend turned to me and condescendingly said “if you’re moving to CO why would you get a sports car”. Well, because I want one. I drove one for years and am well versed on how to drive one in snow/ice. I could understand asking why I want one but to use a tone like I’m an idiot and have no concept of how it would be to have one in CO is ridiculous. I’m baffled because what concern is it and why would you ever talk down to someone because of something like that?

These arent even the only incidences with this girl but she has gotten much worse the past few months. It upsets me because she doesn’t know what’s best for me or my life, we don’t have to live the same lives, she doesn’t know jack about my finances or abilities. It makes me feel like I can’t talk about my interests or what’s going on in life with my friends because the one will tear me down. My other friend in the carpool is always so supportive and if we disagree we go about it in a different way, not condescendingly rip the other apart.

I was close to this girl even just a few months ago but she’s lately become so rude and standoffish. I feel awkward because I dont know how to talk to her anymore and often times she’ll just ignore me when I do talk. I’m just considering shutting myself away from her until school is done and keeping quiet. I already have self-esteem issues and being treated poorly isn’t helping.