I see a lot of women gracefully posting their bump pictures with no stretch marks, nice looking skin and being proud of becoming a mum. And there are some of us who don't post cuz we're terrified of how our bodies changed and not in a good way.

I'm one of them and struggling to accept it some days. I used to have a great figure, lovely skin, also naturally flexible so that I didn't worry about any stretchmarks in the past. During pregnancy I barely showed till maybe 7th month and then from that moment everything went downhill... Pregnancy progressed very fast, belly grew like crazy, and stretchmarks eventually showed as well ruining my body forever... I am close to labor now 38+3 and put on 25kgs so far.

I believe it's easier for those women who also have their partner because they're happy to carry their child and endure all it takes to have a family together. My guy disappointed me during this important time and I can't forgive him. More so, it hurts that I won't have a proper family I planned on and I'm carrying a child of a man I now hate, blaming him for destroying my life, my body, and not helping one bit with baby stuff. Most of the time I felt embarrassed to even be pregnant, trying to hide it, cuz I had to lie that I'm not alone... I guess all of that contributes to how I look at myself right now. Some days hating every bit of my changing body, others being alright and telling myself that maybe when the lil one is born, I may say it was all worth it in the end.

Don't get me wrong, I wanted to get pregnant and I was crying happy tears when I found out. My family was delighted as well, I still have their support, I'd be lost otherwise. But I did have a lot of down time, even seriously considered abortion early on because I didn't want to raise this child alone, I wanted full family with a man I cared about. Suffering all pregnancy for someone who doesn't deserve it is terrible. And I hope the baby looks nothing like him, so he's not a constant reminder of that disappointment, including all the marks on my body.