SAH Moms - who makes dinner?

Question

I have a newborn and as a first time mom, it's intense 7am - 6pm being alone all day to care and feed the little one.
This is also being up 2-3 times a night to feed baby too.
I fully appreciate and understand my husband works hard to provide for us. However, he doesn't get up in the middle of night...
I feel I have lack of sleep and then my 'work' during the day is caring for the baby. (Often I don't have a moment to make myself food or eat anything nutritious - terrible I know)
When he comes home he says he's exhausted and tired all the time...so says he needs a break and TOO tired to cook dinner.
However, he gets to eat a proper lunch and has time to himself. Am I being reasonable?
Would love to hear how old your little babies are and if your husband comes home to look after you!

Answer

I have been a sahm for a long time. My man works 6 days a week so i can stay home. I try to have dinner on the table when he gets home everyday except payday. That is the one day we will eat out. Lol. It takes some time to get a semi routine down but it does happen. I am currently pregnant and My youngest is 1and half and she makes it hard sometimes to cook or get anything accomplished.   I have gotten up every night with all my kids. Never asked my man to. I couldn't ask him to go to work tired cuz his job requires him to drive other peoples motorcycles and he needs to be alert and focused and not in danger of crashing. He works so hard and so much so we can afford for me to stay home with our kiddos. It is very hard sometimes. I am alone with not much adult interaction. We have one vechilce so unless i wanna drag the kids out of bed early in the morning to take him to work  we are stuck not going anywhere thats outta walking distance. I love being able to spend my days with the kids. I wouldn't have it any other way. Unless i wanna go out and get a job and find a day care for my kids i just push threw the bad days. When he gets home after dinner if i need he will entertain the kiddos so i can go hide in the bathtub or relax for a moment. It does get better i promise. In the beginning i decided to go get a job and pay someone to watch the kids cuz i wanted some help around the house. I changed my mind real quick. I missed being home with my kids i missed being tired and pushing threw the day and then still having to figure out and make dinner. And then bathtime and thats always a mess that you have to clean up. Not everyone can do it. Its a lot harder then having a full time job cuz it's a non stop job. You don't get a 15 minute smoke break or even a lunch break most days. And you can't call in sick you have to just keep on trucking no matter how hard it is or how bad you feel. It does get better i promise you. It is a rewarding non stop job. You get to watch your kids grow up and teach them yourself. You don't have to worry about what they are doing you or where they're at. In the beginning it is the hardest just like they say everything worth doing is not always easy....

Answer

Request that he take a day off when you have a dr appointment.   Have him take care of the baby while you do that and maybe some other major errands that he hates.  He might be more understanding after he's done your job.

Answer

I feel you mama. I'm a sahm too. I do everything. Cook clean and take care of all 3 kids. My husband works all day too and hardly ever helps out. I don't mind doing the cooking but it's hard sometimes. One night I was.cooking dinner. Baby got hungry so I had to feed him while cooking then my middle needed help getting ready for bed after his bath and I had to do that too. It was a rough night. My husband was home and didn't offer to help.
Sometimes I'll just hand the baby off to him when i need a break. Maybe tell him what you need from him. They have no idea how hard it is taking care of a baby all day who constantly needs you.

Answer

I make dinner just about every night. You're new at this, you'll find a routine that works for you, give it time. I'm on #3, my husband doesn't get home until 6. Around 4 or when my baby is napping I prep dinner. I try to get everything set up in case he wakes up and wants to eat while I'm supposed to be making dinner. It really helps. I also try to make dinners I can stretch into other dinners. Like last night I roasted a chicken. Tonight I'll warm up the leftover chicken with taco seasoning and we'll have chicken tacos that will take me 5 minutes to throw together. Anything you can throw in the oven and forget about it is going to be your best bet.

Answer

I’m not a SAHM, but I stayed home during my maternity leave while my husband worked a 60 hour per week job. 
I know how exhausting it can be to care for baby all day, especially in the newborn stage. Here is how I managed. For the first month we did a lot of prepared meals. Either stuff we bought from the store or a restaurant, or stuff that I made in advance and froze. 
After a month we got more in a routine of things. Either my husband would make dinner when he got home, or he would take baby and I would make dinner. Honestly many days I preferred to make dinner, because it gave me a little break. I found it helpful to have a meal plan. So we knew exactly what we were making that night and knew we had all of the right ingredients.

Answer

It’s hard. Everyone needs a break. You and him. Maybe take turns making dinner. You both work full time jobs. That means it’s 50/50 when he gets home! 
On the weekend, ask to switch roles. Have him do night wakings. Leave the baby with him all day. Then come home and ask him to make dinner. Maybe he’ll get it then.

Answer

I’m a stay at home mom to a very active 10m old and pregnant with our second. It takes a minute to find your groove and get into a good schedule. I do the cooking, the cleaning, I make sure my husband has lunch but when he gets home from work around 5pm he takes our son. It’s important for them to bond and have their time together. This gives me a chance to cook dinner. That and he gives our son his bath everyday. By him taking our son it allows me to quickly clean up and join them for some family time. Our son has been going to bed at 7pm since the day he was born (he did this on his own) which gives us time to spend together or for me to get some sleep. On the weekends my husband will send me out to pamper myself or allow me to take a warm peaceful bath while he has our son. Right now is the time you guys need to figure out how to do this as a team. If he doesn’t help now the more likely it is he won’t help in the future (my sister is going through that). Talk to him and tell him what you need, your needs are just as important as anyone elses.

Answer

The best thing You can do is talk to him calmly about it, let him know that You need some time to yourself even if it's just a nice bath and a little extra sleep. Like if he has the next day off ask him if he can get up with the baby that night. Its tough being a new mom but remember this is temporary Your little one will start sleeping more before long. Just don't let this stay bottled up or it could turn into resentment towards your husband. Communication is so important , take a deep breath and know it will all work out . As for meals for lunch when you go shopping grab a couple small things that are quick and nutritious. Fruit, veggies and a sandwhich can help a lot. One reason your so tired could be you may not be getting the right vitamins . Having a little one and your body trying to go back to normal can be rough so maybe consider a women's daily  vitamin  to help give You a boost. You got this.

Answer

I was a STAHM for a year, went back to work for a year & now I’m back to being a STAHM while pregnant, my son is currently 2.5. I never asked/had my husband wake up at night (because he has to get up and work with electricity; but even if he had a less demanding job I still wouldn’t have asked him to) & I made/make dinner every night/every other night (depending on how much leftovers there were) ... I feel as a STAHM it’s my job to cook, clean, get up with baby etc., if my husband has to come home and cook then he might as well stay home and I go out in to the workforce. 
We have the same schedule as you 7a-6p (6-6 on Tuesdays). He still helps with cleaning because that’s just how he is but he knows it’s not something that’s expected of him and I won’t ask for help. & when he gets home he takes baby from me so I can nap/clean up/have time to myself. This has always been our routine since our first was born & now that I’m pregnant with our 2nd he’s taken it upon himself to help me cook/learn my recipes to make dinner on the weekends or if I’m tired.

Answer

I’m a SAHM but also a work from home mom FT so things really don’t get done around here! My husband is in school M-F from 7-4. He comes home, cleans the messes that I couldn’t get to and cooks for himself. I am on Keto so we usually have different meals anyway. My daughter gets whatever we’re having. This is what works for us, but definitely may not work for all. Our routine was established with a lot of conversations and some trial and error. It’s not an easy fix, but you’ll find your groove!

SAH Moms - who makes dinner?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey