So I have been with my boyfriend for three years, and he has been emotionally abusive since the beginning. He has torn my self esteem down and given me periodic validation so I just keep hanging on. About two years ago he starting getting a little physical and then in the past 6 months it has really escalated to hitting me and choking me to the point of passing out, then the other day pinning me down and threatening me with a knife to the throat. I have always been aware of how abusive he is and I donteven feel like I love him and he never shows remorse, my self esteem is just way too low to leave, and it doesn’t even feel like he acknowledges or even thinks that he is abusive?? Can someone please explain this confusion to me as to why he doesn’t think he is in the wrong and why I feel I can’t leave, and maybe some advice to help me leave?? I’m so desperate and scared- this situation has messed up my mind so badly I feel I have even failed to explain it here