Renewed Perspective in the Wake of AF
So yesterday was my first failed attempt to get pregnant after my MC December 10th. I was 9 weeks along and the baby stopped developing at 6 weeks. I never got to hear a heartbeat, never got that coveted baby bump, and it took its toll on our two month old marriage. I know we were so blessed to conceive on our first try (essentially a wedding night conception) but it was the worst heartbreak of my life.
Flash forward to January, I got that sweet post MC AF January 12th and had my HSG come back with positive results (only a minor dip in my uterus making it Arcuate and both tubes are open). Plus many say an HSG “clears you out” making you even more fertile. So I was PUMPED!
I travel a ton for work though (I’m an Army officer serving as a general’s aide) so I was barely home in my fertile window. But I was convinced it worked and the PMS symptoms were actually implantation symptoms. My boobs have only been sore when I was pregnant and those cramps were so minor! But AF said “hey girl” yesterday and my heart broke a little more. Especially since I had taken pregnancy tests since 9DPO (yes I was a bit crazy) and convincing myself the evaps were Vvvvfl’s.
But today I woke up renewed. I hit the gym, kept up my diet (gained so much weight with my post MC sadness), and am ready to get back at it next week. My heart still hurts but I know that life is beautiful and miracles can happen. My rainbow will come I just have to believe. Long post I know! Believe me I’ve written and then failed to post many of these in the past few months. But I want to let you ladies know that I have faith in us all! No matter what your journey is, it is special and motherhood will be worth all that we have gone through. Baby dust and lots of love to you all ❤️