On August 20 2018 , I was told my baby at 9weeks didn’t have a heart beat 😩 for the past 6months I been broken. I haven’t been myself. I just feel so hurt know everyone around me can have a hold a healthy pregnancy and even for people I know that didn’t even want any more kids are pregnant. I have been DEPRESSED 🥺ever since. luckily I’ve had my boyfriend and a few others check up on me EVERY SINGLE DAY to make sure I was okay I may look it but I wasn’t and haven’t been for a while and now maybe even longer. I don’t really talk to no one cause it hurts so much and motherfuckers really don’t care or understand cause it’s not them. On February 2 I found out I was pregnant 🤰🏾for a second time. just to find out I’m losing this one to by waking up bleeding and them telling me that my hcg levels are going down. I thought by nothing telling anyone that every thing will be okay. My birthday is less than 9 days away and all I can wait for is to be able to buy my own liquor. This has been by far the WORST birthday I don’t had yet(I don’t wanna do nothing for it but eat Ice cream, drink, and cry all day). I done prayed🙏🏾 from the time I found out about this pregnancy that everything goes well and that my baby 👶🏾is alright but now that I lost two is devastating and very traumatizing. I didn’t plan this either it just came by surprise. I was happy to be having another one but I don’t know why god putting me through all this, why is this the life he has for me I don’t want it. And I didn’t pick it 😔 I hear “everything happens for a reason” & “it just wasn’t your time”. But why keep giving my things your going to keep taking away🤧. At 20 years old I never thought I would experience this and feel this way. Not one but 2 I got two angel baby’s now 🌈 my year starting off bad already! LORD please help me. I need all the prays I can get I cry every time I think about it 🥺🥺🥺🤧😩