Should I be petty?

Question

So my baby father is coming over this afternoon to do a home dna test for my 1 month old twins. This would be the first time he’s seeing them, and I allowed him to be at the hospital but he didn’t come and didn’t even ask how it all went,  he just asked for pics he said nothing too. A week after they were born he told me “he doesn’t want to be in their lives” and he doesn’t want them forced on him. This test is for us to sort out child support although I already know they’re his ( wasn’t sleeping around and the boy looks just like him ) 
So I don’t want him to see them, I was planning on just keeping them upstairs but idk lol. He was so rude but maybe I should allow it ?

Answer

If they turn out to be his let him see them(if he chooses). Then he can’t hold it against you that you never let him see his kids. If he chooses to be in their lives now let him. It’s only going to hurt the kids if they grow up with out a father.  Can’t fight fire with fire it’ll only get worse.

Answer

I mean honestly it sounds like he could really care less about seeing them. Keep the visit short and sweet. You should really be having a legitimate paternity test done for child support not an at home test. But anywho, pretty sure he’s not going to care either way if he wants nothing to do with them sounds like your more into making this a scene and issue.

Answer

Why would you intentionally want to use your children as pawns to cause drama? If he wants to see them and you keep them away, in the long run the only people you're hurting are the children

Answer

Don’t be that woman. Regardless of his less than noble decisions and mindset, he’s still entitled to see his children. Don’t keep his kids from him. From what you said he doesn’t seem like a danger to them so there’s no reason for you to keep them from him other than your own personal and selfish reasons. Don’t make the decision for him.

Answer

The court will have another test done to prove paternity because at home tests aren’t always accurate. 
If he doesn’t want to be in their lives then that’s ok. You can’t force him to be something he doesn’t want to be. Don’t be a petty mother about it. Being petty makes you look very immature. 
Not everyone wants to be a parent and that’s ok.

Answer

Just go with what is when he gets there. If they are up, don’t hide them. If they are sleeping, leave them sleeping.  I so understand the petty thoughts but usually it’s best not to act on them. Start now, being a positive role model for your children. It’s really hard to see a child’s father not care to be in their lives. You will need all the practice you can get to not be petty!  Good luck!

Answer

I think you doing that would just cause more trouble. I completely see where you’re coming from, however, I think it would be best to allow him to see them and conduct the test. That way he doesn’t say anything was rigged or anything. Also, maybe if he sees the boy that looks just like him that’ll give him a change of heart/mind.

Answer

Following

Should I be petty?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey