So as I lay here in bed just coming home from the ER, I'm flooded with the terrible emotions that follow all miscarriages. My heart hurts. My mind won't stop. My mommy instinct makes me feel like I should've done something different. I know this is common. I know this happens a lot. But, it doesn't make it hurt any less. I knew this was my month. I knew I was pregnant. And when my faint positive turned to a negative and then to this. It is devastating. I have experienced a miscarriage before. And thankfully for my husband I have a strong support system that keeps me going. But tonight, just for these few hours I have alone to think while everyone else sleeps. I'm sad. I'm going to cry. I'm going to wallow in self pity. And tomorrow I will wake up and move on with my life because that's what I am expected to do. But for right now. I needed to say this. I'm sad. It hurts and I'm sorry my body didn't do a better job.