Don’t see myself alive in the future


Can someone please tell me if this is normal or not? I have bad social anxiety but I’m not sure if that has anything to do with this.. but basically I don’t really enjoy life; like it’s not necessarily bad but I just can’t be bothered with it. I’m 16 and in my first year of college (I’m in the uk so idk what that’s equivalent to in other countries) and everyone else in my class is doing the course because they want to fulfil it in the future. And then there’s me who just doesn’t care.. I’m only doing the course because obviously I HAD to do something. I don’t care about the work, assignments, passing the course etc. I don’t see myself being alive in the future. It’s hard to explain. I don’t think I would kill myself - I mean it’s a nice idea and I’d like to think I would eventually but I doubt I will. But for some reason I just don’t see myself being alive in adulthood. And it makes me put minimal effort into every day things because I always think to myself “I can’t be bothered, I don’t care about this and none of it will matter in the end”. All the teachers at college always talk about our future - applying for uni, apprenticeships, jobs, etc. And I’m always sat there like “Oh I don’t need to listen to this because hopefully I’ll be dead.” As I said my life isn’t necessarily bad, I just cannot be bothered with it. Is this just laziness? Or is it something a bit deeper than that? Can anyone tell me what this means? Thank you xx