While I was pregnant my boyfriend bragged about how much he’d be the one changing diapers, getting up during the night to attend to our little one, he made it seem like he’d be real hands on and I basically had to beg to have the baby’s crib on my side of the room instead of his because I just had this gut feeling I would be the one getting up in the middle of nights (which is fine). The first week he helped tremendously, but still didn’t wake up when the baby woke because “he can’t hear him cry”. We’ve been parents for 3 months now and I mentally pretended to be a single mother. I’m stay at home mom so I get no breaks or time off, I love being a mother and wouldn’t change it for the world but I do wish I had help. I wish he’d offer to clean the bottles at least once a week, I wish he’d want to bathe our little one and enjoy it as much as I do. I can’t lean on my partner like I should be able to because I can’t even leave him with our baby for more than an hour without him loosing his patience and taking it out on our son. Even on his days off he won’t offer to feed the baby, he’ll offer to watch the baby while I shower but even then it’s chaos because he can’t handle the baby screaming. Pretending to be a single mother helps me mentally not have expectations for him as a father. Yes he helps financially but I wish he’d help with our precious little one because he’s missing out. 💔

UPDATE 02/16* I’ve tried talking to him multiple times in the past and got the excuse that he’s tired from work, which I completely understand but it would be nice for him to change a diaper or maybe do one feeding a day. One time I even got the excuse of “I don’t wanna do too much because then he’ll get attached and I don’t want him being sad when I’m gone at work”....I’ve been dealing with horrible headaches this week and he took a day off and helped me and I told him how thankful I was because when I get a headache I can barley function. I feel it’s a mixture of things that holds him back from helping. For example, I feel like he doubts himself on knowing what to do, he doesn’t have patience, and he probably is tired. I also want to mention I am well aware that being a single mother IS NOT easy or some “fantasy”, I was raised by a single mother and most of my closest friends are single mothers so I know the hardships that they go through. I said I pretend to be a single mother because it helps me cope with the fact that I don’t get help. It helps me not get my hopes and expectations high when my child’s father comes home.