Is it normal....

My BF and I broke up on New Years eve....

He was a narcissist, like over the top one.

I didn’t renew my apt lease because our plan was to move to my aunts house and buy a house. Now I’m leaving at my aunts house and it sucks from one part because I don’t have my privacy and I miss been on my own at my old apt. Yup I let him moved in with me at the time

we were dating and was a huge mistake.

I feel like I failed myself and try not to think that I’m a loser for doing what I did just to keep him happy and build a future with him.

Now I’m starting from zero again and that’s okay but I’m being so hard on myself and I don’t know why 😞

Is it normal for me to expect for him to call me or text me ?? I wish he reach out to me and I wonder sometimes if he really loved me. I’m waiting for an apology from his part even though that’s not going to happen.

I know narcissist feelings and thoughts are diff from non narcissist... I got so used to his toxicity, his way of keeping me on this bubble or a crystal clear box and he was the only one who could have me, at this emotional abusive ways, his jealousy also his way of taking angry or mad moods on me. I thought it was normal but isn’t I’m not an angel and don’t want to play the victim but I didn’t needed to be treat that way. Yet I miss him and I want him back in my life 😪

Please any advises or encouraging words will help 💜