I just need advice, I don't know what to do anymore..
So this is kind of long, but I've been in a relationship for a couple of months now, when we began talking I told him straight off the bat "I don't like sexual things", nothing against like other people, but sex or anything sex related like foreplay means nothing to me, I feel nothing from it (like an asexual, which I think I am??) but he understood and said he didn't care.
We then got into a relationship, everything was pretty okay until he got way too sexual. Maybe I led him on? Because I used to say stupid things when he would talk about sex or things sex related or say stuff about his friend with benefit and how he hasn't had sex 3 months prior to us dating, and I would say "oh that sounds like fun" or "yeah I guess we could try or do that", but then I would say no I don't really want to because I had no interest or feelings towards it, and so he always says "all talk no show", and be upset. But I agreed. I was all talk no show, up until I gave him stuf, like sex or handjobs or let him see me, but then I also stopped talking about sexual things or stopped making sexual jokes so he would stop saying all talk no show because now hey I'm giving you stuff.
But now that I gave him stuff I just didn't enjoy any of it, I thought he would help change my feelings about sexual intentions but it just didn't work and I mean I told him obviously like "oh I didn't like it" or "I felt nothing towards it" and he would always be upset (pretended to be upset) saying "my dick is just small" but then I would havw to say "like no it's not it's big, I feel you inside of me but I don't feel ANYTHING" and he knows exactly what I mean because I've explained it to him that I don't feel pleasure for anything. And now when I say no he gets upset and faces away from me, until I give him what he wants or wait a long time until he faces me and still me giving him what he wants in the end. I've also told him that he gets upset when I don't give him what he wants and he would always say I know and smile like its a joke, snd whenever he does gets upset I always say you have no reason to be, or this is just stupid to be upset about because you're not getting what you want.
Recently, whenever were in a call and he gets upset by something I've said, or made a joke about, he gets quiet and I'm like why are you upset or something and it always ends up with him saying "you know what makes me feel better" and its me saying I'll suck his dick or we can have sex and he'll be like "okay I'm happy". This happens sometimes.
But I think a turning point that like snapped me into like seriously dude, was a couple days ago, he asked for something again which was in return of me saying no, and so he faced away from me, being upset like usual, and I was like really, so I went and sat I his chair, and waited, he ended up sending me a message saying along the lines of, "I'm a terrible boyfriend, I'm lame and, just always horny" (something like that) and I went back to his bed but he was still upset, and said "I just really want stuff", and it was really quiet for a second with me saying, "but I don't", he then said something about being disappointed and I was like why, and again I don't really remember, but it was along the lines of I don't give him things and thought I would change or he woukd change me, and it was just mostly quiet after that and I some point during the convo I was like, "do we need to have a long conversation on why I don't want things?" And he simply said no, BUT after that whole ordeal he asked for a handjob and I was like seriously, and he said yeah while smiling and put my hang down there, so I gave him one kind of, but not to his liking, because I didnt go fast enough and I was basically like this is as fast as I can go and eventually stopped, I was obviously visibly annoyed/upset/mad.
I don't hate him or like not love him anymore, we do somethings like go out to places and do other things, but we're mostly at his house doing nothing but laying in bed, I enjoy those things, like kissing or cuddling, like romantic things, but the sexual things I just..hate it, and I feel guilty you know? Like I'm not making him happy in that way, he doesn't ask for anything else besides sexual things, he always say that he feels like its not asking for much, but to me he just is...I made the mistake of saying something awhile ago about like, "oh if I can't think of anything for valentines I'll suck your dick" since he just always wants it and always asks, but I thought of something and I knew I would, but before I thought I would be able to do it, and now its just so unappealing, bit when I said I was making him stuff he sounded upset, just some small things he says or do just make me upset and make me feel bad, or just like not so appreciated? Again he knows I don't enjoy anything but the constant asking? I,jope he grows out of this horny teenage boy stage, but I feel like thats not an excuse (we're both 17). I just need some really great advice. (Sorry I know its long). You can ask any questions or need more details on anything