Needing a friend...

This month makes 3 years TTC our first baby. I’ve lost 4 pregnancies, my right Fallopian tube, and almost my life in the process.. my best friend who has been TTC along side of me (who also had 3 miscarriages) is now over 20 weeks pregnant from IVF. feel so lost and worried my biggest wish in life, to have a healthy baby and become a mommy, will never come true. I am open to any stories, words, comments...I am on cycle day 1 now and honestly my heart is just broken 😞 I’m just so exhausted with this endless cycle of torture and pain and loss 😞😞