Im not sure where to start

Okay, so currently my mental health is everywhere, and I don’t know where to start, but I guess I should start at one of the major things. I have an eating disorder, and I know that I do, I just can’t really admit it, and I hate the way I look. I’m going to be honest, I want to look like Eugenia Cooney who looks like this:

And I have a “diet” picked out, and I just need help, and I feel like I can’t go to my mom because it’ll ruin our relationship, and I’m so sick of all of it, and because of it I have depression and I have attempted suicide more than once, I just really need help.