Struggling to love myself

I'm really unhappy with my body and im trying to change my eating habits but its so difficult. I just had my baby 2 weeks ago and I'm at 205 pounds 😭 i was 195 to begin with. I hate how i look i know my husband wishes i was skinny he has all these porn videos of skinny pretty girls saved on his phone and it really brings down my confidence alot . I dont know where to start 😭😢 I'm tired of being obese