Missed miscarriage waiting game


At my 8 week scan yesterday I found out that my baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks 3 days. No heart beat, no well defined baby shape, just a little jelly bean refusing to leave. I know how he feels. I don’t want him to leave either.

So I have had a missed miscarriage. The doctor told me to wait a few more days to see if the miscarriage occurs naturally. He has given me a prescription for Misoprostol to take over the weekend. If that doesn’t work then it will be a D&C next week. Dreading all options in increasing order.

Stupidly it hadn’t even occurred to me that this could happen and I would have no symptoms at all.

Now I am sitting at me desk at work, trying (not very successfully) not to sob and waiting....waiting.....waiting. Having spent months and months hoping not to see blood in my underwear now I know the best thing is if I do see it.

I am 40 and the baby was donor conceived. I have no partner to grieve with and know I will have to start the whole donor conception rigmarole all over again soon. I also know that time is not on my side. I am feeling devastated and empty and alone. I wanted to share the picture of my little love with you, because I know you all understand. Thank you. xx