Am I being too sensitive?


My husband and I are recently married but we’ve been together for 6 years. He’s always been very affectionate and does a great job with gifts and flowers around holidays like Valentines and birthdays. This year for Valentines, I got a group text from my mother-in-law which she sent to me and my husband saying “thank you so much for the valentines flowers!”. I was confused and hadn’t realized my husband bought her flowers too for Valentines but didn’t want to make a big deal so I just replied “oh good I’m glad you liked them”. Then she sent a picture of them and they were the same exact flowers he got me for Valentines. I never said anything to her, but I was a little hurt. I thought as his wife, my flowers for Valentines would have been unique or different (which honestly I didn’t even think he would have bought anyone else flowers for Valentines, but that’s beside the point).

This isn’t the first time this has happened. Last year for Christmas he bought me some gorgeous diamond earrings and then I found out that he bought the same exact pair for his mom’s Christmas present too. I didn’t say anything then, but that did hurt too.

When he got home from work last night, he said “oh I guess you saw mom’s flowers?” I said “yeah” and I guess the way I said “yeah” let him know something was up so he kept pushing the issue, so I finally told him it made me feel less special when he buys me something and then buys his mom the same exact thing, especially for a romantic occasion like valentines. He got very defensive and upset. I explained that it is very sweet that he loves his mom this much but just because he loves us both very much as the two main women in his life does not mean we want the same gifts or to be treated as the same. I told him on Valentines I want to be treated as unique as his wife and that on Mother’s Day his mom should be treated uniquely as his mom. After getting over his hurt feelings I think he came around and understood my point.

So am I being too sensitive? I think it’s weird for someone to buy their mom the exact same red and pink flowers they bought their wife on Valentine’s Day. And she’s married and has a living husband! If she was a widow, I would totally be on board with him buying her flowers on valentines, but she is married and lives with her husband, his dad! I think he should reserve Valentines for his wife and definitely stop buying us the same gifts. What do you think?

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