Desperate

Jokkayy • 💍Wife 9/23/16👼🏼Angel babies 4/9/18 & 1/26/19 TTC #1

I know there are women that have been trying for a LOT longer than me and I don’t want to come off the wrong way but I need to vent.

It’s been 17 months that we have been trying. I am very grateful that we have no problems getting pregnant. We have been pregnant 3 times. But we can’t seem to get out of the first trimester.

First pregnancy was in our first month of trying, it ended as a chemical.

Second pregnancy was 3 months later and ended in ectopic.

We had the methotrexate shot for the ectopic and had to wait 3 months before we could try again. Once we started trying it took us 6 months to conceive again. That one ended in a normal miscarriage at 6 weeks.

Right after the last pregnancy ended I had a dream that we had an ultrasound and there were 5 sacs. But three sacs were empty and two sacs were glowing with healthy babies in them.

I’ve been praying every day since then that this dream is my sign of a healthy pregnancy and possibly even two babies in the future.

I’m two weeks past my last miscarriage and I desperately want to be pregnant again but part of me is terrified that it’ll just be another heartbreak. I know it’s not a matter of if I get pregnant again because I know I will. It’s a question of when I do will I get a baby 9 months later?

I just want our first baby.