Im having a hard time

Am

I'm having a hard time feeling pretty.. when I throw up I blow blood vessels in my face... Tonight my fiance and I are going to a benefit dinner for our town's 4-H to raise money to fix up the barns. And I put on mascara and eyeliner and I don't feel like it's enough.. pictures of before and after.. please tell me I'm just being too self conscious and I look fine because I'm tempted to not even go in fear everyone is going to just stare at me...