In September 2017, I took a test that should have led to happiness, but instead it broke us.

My husband Mark and I had been trying for three years to make those 2 little pink lines pop up. And when it finally happened, I put together this little box to surprise my him. He was thrilled.

Our baby was growing perfectly through the first week of us knowing i was pregnant. I was only 6 weeks pregnant. But even from the first ultrasound, I could tell they knew something was wrong. They started to do ultrasounds and blood work every week for 3 weeks to monitor my HCG levels. Our baby had stoped growing. The HCG started to drop. At my last ultrasound, the picture showed the membrain from where my baby had detached from my uterus wall. They didnt tell me what it meant but I obviously already knew as I started crying. Later that afternoon my obgyn called and confirmed the sad news, my baby died, and a D&C would have to be preformed

by tomorrow. We never got to hear our babys little heart beat. I was never given an explanation, until May 7th 2018, when I was diagnosed with cancer of the thyroid. I was told it was certain this was the cause of my miscarage. My thyroid was removed on June 13th 2018. And now getting pregnant again will be very difficult. I've been told i will likely suffer from more miscarriages until they can find my ideal TSH level. So this is where we are now and im losing all hope. This is the first time I have been able to talk about it. So thank you for reading.