I was nearly 27 days late.

And when I actually realized it, I took a test.

I was so nervous and so excited.

My fiancé sitting eagerly nearby, only to see my sad, teary eyed face exit the bathroom.

After some love and comfort, I went about the day normally. Just hoping for my rainbow next month.

And then I took my cat to the vet.

My cat is 19 years old, and I’ve had her since I was 7. After so long with my little girl, she was diagnosed with Kidney Disease today.

She’s dying. My first baby, my first friend, my little miracle of a cat.

And I’m crying harder than any negative test, or false positive. Even harder than the miscarriages . Because she’s always been my baby, and now I’m losing her too.

Today was a long day, but I will find my rainbow, and I know she will too.