Are the choices grown children make always a reflection on their parents & upbringing?

Question

By grown I mean from about 16 & upwards, 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond.
And I mean ALL choices - good & poor decisions and actions:
Achievements, accomplishments, being charitable, successful, taking risks, how they treat colleagues, friends, partners, what kind of life they lead, getting into bad crowds & trouble, doing illegal things etc. All of it.

Answer

Your still an ignorant child at 16 so I don’t think that should be the milestone for being an adult. I do believe that the closer in age to a child you are (say 18-20), everything you’ve learned is mostly reflective of your parents bc you don’t know any better and haven’t seen or experienced the world. As you grow older it 90% becomes reflective upon you since you are the one gathering knowledge (be it god or bad) and making decisions based on your experiences and only your core morals are reflective of the ones who raised you.

Answer

At this point (I’m almost 40), it’s a lot more about what feels right to me and my husband when we discuss the difficult choices. Sure, some of it is influenced by the values we got from our parents, but it’s also a result of so much more. Seeing our friends as parents, the culture we live in (and lived in, since I’m now in the fourth country I’ve lived in as an adult), media we consume, and even the workplace all has an influence on the choices we make, both as parents and as individuals

Answer

I’m 32 and feel like some of my decisions are reflective of how my parents raised me, but some of them are also reflective of the experiences I’ve had independent of my parents’ influences or my childhood. Some for my husband.

Answer

My mom was like a child, she could never have a calm, reasonable discussion.
She was also a hoarder, like many baby boomers.
She got worked up over silly things and spent her time being jealous of other friends and family. 
My entire life I have made an effort to be the exact opposite.

Answer

Sometimes. I'm 25 and so is my husband, were living in our 3rd country, but the decisions we still make are rooted in our childhood since we both grew up in toxic poor households. We don't ever want to get to that point again. We're also drawing from our lives currently and looking at our friends paths too to help us.

Answer

Yes and no. Parents do make a lot of mistakes, like mine seem to have no idea they neglected me & my brother by working so much and gave me serious issues with intimacy by not hugging me and not being affectionate ever even to each other, and also shaming me for my feelings. 
They're probably over there like: "why does my daughter keep getting into relationships with manipulative or absent people??" 
Hmmm i woooonderrrr guysss
Either way I've come a long way on all that stuff, so while a lot of my behavior reflects their upbringing, and how I've been effected by, and transcended it...
A lot of my behavior doesn't reflect them. For instance, the fact i have depression isn't their doing. 
Just as many other ppl have conditions or other things that effect them, regardless of their parents completely.
Like other relationships that effected them, loosing a loved one, a chemical imbalance, getting in a bad wreck.
Our actions are really effected by too many factors to say that a childs actions are based on how the parent brought them up.
And further, a parent has a lot in life that effected how they brought up their kids.
For instance, my mom was chronically ill and PISSED about it, one of my parents was molested as a child, their parents were emotionally distant and even sort of abusive, 
So of course they didn't know what to say about my feelings. Of course they were afraid to hug me. Of course my mom was mean, she was in a lot of pain. Of course my parents had pressure to overachieve because of their parents- so they were too busy to be there for me other than providing materials. 
People don't realize what they do a lot of times. 
So yeah, that's a lot of rambling lol

Answer

16 is a child. Anyone who thinks 16 is an adult is either 16 or doesn’t have a 16 year old teenager. At that age you’re definitely changing and becoming more mature but you’re still a child, living with your parents, and needing guidance. Exactly how it should be. 
To answer your question: parents lay the foundation for their future adult children. Their job is to churn out a functioning adult.  They are not responsible for all of their choices when they start making them UNLESS they haven’t given them a solid foundation.

Answer

I definitely think it correlates, but we continue to grow and learn with life experiences such as college, jobs, new friends, etc. However, I do believe not just how you’re raised, but how your relationship continues to be with your parents or guardians correlates to how you act in professional setting and what not.

Are the choices grown children make always a reflection on their parents & upbringing?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey