I am writing this here to ask you lovelies about your experiences with non-monogamy.

This January I met a lovely guy with whom I instantly clicked. We have great chemistry (the sex is mindblowing), we don’t judge one another (we come from crazy family/religious backgrounds and contexts) and we can talk about anything.

The problem for me was that he openly declared himself as nonmonogamous. At first I didn’t see it becoming something serious so I shrugged it off also because I am moving away in april for a training of 3 months and I start school abroad next September. So, I just thought it’s gonna be something casual.

But eventually, we both realized there are feelings. He had brought up that he was seeing a girl once in a while, who lives in Vienna (we are based in northern italy) and she is nonmonogamous too so she’d be fine with us seeing each other.

When things began becoming more serious, he told me that ironically the nonmonogamous girl freaked out when he told her that he’s getting to like me more!! Wtf? I told him I would want him to cut her out of the picture because I just don’t want to be involved with some pretentious shit like that - & imo he shouldn’t either.

Eventually he agreed to the fact that if he still likes her, after I move he could resume things with her, but nothing romantic even if they meet in this period before april.

So, eventually, we become more and more involved, the sex is getting more wonderful by day and feelings are growing. We went on not seeing each other for 2 weeks because we were traveling and for Valentines Day and our birthdays we had a perfect evening during which he told me that he wants to ‘keep me even when I leave to study’ and asked me to be his ‘girlfriend’.

I freaked out a bit, knowing that long distance is tough - but I also cannot get over the fact that once he said the ‘I love you’ he meant it and our feelings are really strong for one another. He told me I could take all the time I need to answer him on the girlfriend proposal.

When I am physically present with him (both sexually and non-sexually), or when we talk/text, I feel extremely happy and delighted. But I do feel suddenly extremely insecure when we are apart, especially that the other girl is still in the picture even though as ‘friends’ for now.

I don’t know how to proceed with this really. Any thoughts/advice?

Is it too much and not worth it? Or should I keep my hope?