If your boyfriend didn't want kids but says he could change his mind, would you leave him?

Question

Hi I'm 21 and I really want a baby, I have 14 siblings and a lot of nieces/nephews. I love babysitting them and I hate letting them go back to their mothers and feeling like Im never going to be a mother. My boyfriend hates kids but thinks he might feel different if it was his own but says he doesn't want them anytime soon because It really scares him. I sad I want one before I'm 30 and he said he can work with that which wasn't really what I wanted to hear.

Answer

I think if being a mother means that much to you this is probably a dealbreaker situation, however if you are okay with not being a mom yourself but looking after little ones it could work out. This way if he ends up never changing his mind you don't end up hating him. But if you need to be a mom, you need to have children of your own, then its definitely time to move on to someone who has the same goals.

Answer

21 is still young and babysitting is way different than your own kid.  My fiancé doesn’t really like kids either but he loves our.  You guys are young, if he’s willing to but wanting to wait I would give him that chance

Answer

You should give him a chance. Babysitting is not at all the same as having your own. You don’t have to be financially responsible for kids you babysit. 21 is still very young and your brain is still maturing. At least he is being honest with you in telling you that he needs to be older and you need to respect that. 
Being a mother involves multiple responsibilities and sacrifices. You need to be financially stable as well as mentally stable before you consider having a child. 
Right now wouldn’t be a good time to get pregnant if your boyfriend isn’t in the same boat as you. He could potentially leave you if you were pregnant because he isn’t ready and then you would be a single mother. 
Let him come to you when he’s ready for a child or if you simply cannot wait that long, find someone else ready to settle down and have children

Answer

I feel like, for right now at least, you have quite a bit of time before you want kids. That’s great because it gives you a lot of time to explore options separately and figure out what you definitely want, and then bring it up with him. Then you can talk to him about how you feel, and if this is something that’s really important then be sure to really express that towards him. Leaving him at this stage can be kind of harsh, but it also depends on the circumstances. If you have been dating for a while, you may not want to end it so suddenly, even if he hasn’t said what you want to hear, he seems open to it. If you guys haven’t been together for very long, then there is a possibility that he isn’t the one to have kids with. Either way, make sure both of you fully understand the circumstances before making a big decision. Hope this helped, Good luck!

Answer

I'd have to know they deffinatly want kids at some point. I told my boyfriend before we got together I wanted kids and I wanted them soon and if he didn't it wouldn't work x

Answer

If he was with the love of his life he would change his mind when he meet you. If he’s open to them when he’s much much older it’s okay. But I’ve seen so many divorced couples because one thought the other would change their mind about kids. If you really want kids you partner should too.

Answer

Well he seems like he’s willing to compromise, but you also don’t want a situation where he has kids because you want them and there’s a strained relationship between him and the child. What is scaring him about having kids? It sounds like he could be open to the idea, but it’s also possible he’s saying that because he’s afraid to lose you. If having kids is something you really want in life, then do what you need to do. I don’t want kids personally. So I wouldn’t want to stay with someone knowing having kids is something they desperately want.

Answer

Kids are a deal breaker for me

If your boyfriend didn't want kids but says he could change his mind, would you leave him?

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