Over a year ago now I lost my virginity, except it wasn’t really by choice. My boyfriend at the time and I were messing around and we both had discussed what we were comfortable with and I was very vocal about the fact that I didn’t want to have sex, and he looked me in the eye and told me that wasn’t going to happen and I trusted him. A few minutes after I said that, when we were fooling around, I felt him inside me. I didn’t say anything and just let it happen because at that point, what was the point in doing so? What’s done is done, there’s no taking that back. When he finished he freaked out and told me he didn’t mean for it to happen, that he didn’t even realize he was inside me until halfway through, and I spent a long time comforting him about it afterwards. And to this day I don’t know if that qualifies as rape or not, because I didn’t speak up while it was happening, and he didn’t even mean for it to happen.