So my husband and I have been married for a little over a year and we just had our baby a month ago. If there’s any military wives out there you might relate to this. My husband is a marine so a lot of times he’s gone. This whole year we’ve been married he’s been gone for about half of it. Each time he’s away we always have the same discussion about lack of communication and him being slightly sketchy. His behavior and the way he treats me completely changes. It’s like while I’m here I’m his main priority, but when he leaves I’m the very last thing he thinks about. Each time he says he will fix it but it doesn’t change. So now he’s deployed and we just had a baby. Thankfully he was able to fly home for the birth. But now I’m alone with a newborn. And I’m pretty sure almost every woman goes through this, after you have a baby you just don’t feel sexy or attractive. I’ve been struggling with self esteem and body confidence issues after I gave birth. So of course we’re still having our issue with communication where he just doesn’t talk to me. Well since my husband is always away or busy with work I pay the bills and I keep up the bank account. When I checked the account I saw a massive drop in funds. I mean $500 and the bills were already paid so something wasn’t right. He spent $500 on magic the gathering cards. Of course I was livid because we have a baby and that’s just insane to spend that amount. I talked to him about it and told him it can’t happen again that’s just too much money. I don’t mind if he buys booster packs they’re like $5 each. So a few weeks later in comes the next paycheck and I put a decent chunk in savings (it cost like $2000 for him to fly and see lily born) The next day I find that he spent another $200 on magic. I was upset but I tried not to get angry. So a few days later I check the account to see if the bills are pending and what not. Well I found a charge that I didn’t recognize so I looked it up just to make sure it wasn’t some scam that needed to be fixed. It was webcam porn. Keep in mind whenever we have an issue I always try to be reasonable and talk it out. Well not this time. That was the last straw. It was disrespectful to me and extremely sketchy to put your information on one of those sites. So I went off on him. I told him he was a dumbass and an asshole. I said “I didn’t marry a douchebag so stop acting like one or I will leave you”. Well the next day rolls around and I’m venting to my neighbor. This girl tells me that it’s my fault. It’s my fault because obviously “he’s depressed and he’s using magic to cope” and “I should be more considerate” and “I didn’t explicitly say he can’t watch webcam porn so it’s okay for him to do it”. I mean she really had no sympathy for me and just roasted me the ENTIRE time. Then she read the messages and told me I was abusing him. So now I’m even more upset. I go to look at the bank account again, well he bought more webcam porn. Now I’ve completely lost it and I told him I’m leaving him. To me that is borderline cheating and unacceptable. He has a wife and FaceTime and he hasn’t even made an attempt to do anything sexual. I just...I don’t know I need comfort and support. If I tell my family that solidifies the divorce and I’m still not 100% sure I want to I’m like 70% sure though. Obviously my neighbor doesn’t support me. I have no friends where I live except her. 😔

Update:

I know it’s a little late but I’ve been busy with taking care of Lily and dealing with him. He said the second time it happened he didn’t do it. It was from the first time. So obviously I want proof.

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It has the date and time so I believed him and we tried to work it out. Well I see another charge from the same thing. I start freaking out and he denied it, but he didn’t have proof. So I start hacking all of his accounts. All email accounts and even his pornhub account. There’s nothing to prove he did it, but also nothing to prove he didn’t. So to me the only two options are they keep charging us and it’s one of the dangers I told him about putting your information on sketchy websites. Or he made another account. I keep monitoring all of his accounts to see if maybe it will show later. Idk I’m trying desperately to just forgive him and work it out, but I’m just too hurt to move in from it. I told my parents that I might be coming to visit them because of everything and all they said was “work it out”...like gee thanks guys. 🙄

Deep down I love him and I truly don’t want to leave him, but I don’t want to be taken advantage of😔