Postpartum struggle. 🐴🐴

Ok. I'm writing this little blurb to see if there is anyone out there with the same issue. I am almost 5 months postpartum, and I am struggling with this Mom bod. I weighed 140 pre pregnancy, lost 25lbs in my first trimester, and was 188 the day I gave birth. Fast forward to today.... I weighed my self.... And weighed 187. I proceeded to have a break down. I know, it takes time and all that. But I can't do what I do and be heavier. I have always been a little squishy, never been the insane skinny girl. But now I feel soo big. I eat decently, I have cut out soda, juice...ect. But I have lost nothing. I am still feeding breast milk. (Been exclusively pumping) I ride and train horses for a living, and I'm also have issues with incontinence. Like.... I pee right through a overnight pad. I'm dieing for some tips.