I’ve been keeping some what of a secret from my boyfriend... and I think I want to tell him. Little backstory first, me and my boyfriend met when I was in school. We’ve hung out a few times and were kind of like friends with benefits but we stopped only after a few months when I met my ex. Years down the road and come to find our parents actually got together, what a small world, we’re then in our twenty’s when this happened while I met him in our teens way back then. Well their relationship got serious and they got married and at the time I was in a bad relationship and we were talking as if we didn’t stop back then. 1 year after our parents got married, he helped me out of my relationship and we developed feelings toward one another and we talked to our parents about it, they were cool about us dating since 1. We knew each other way before our parents got together 2. We didn’t grow up together as a family so it wasn’t as weird. Even though some find it weird and disgusting, we don’t because we were grown when our parents first met each other. We’ve been dating for a little while and we got pregnant but knew what we was doing because we obviously didn’t use protection and it was more like, if it happens then it happens. During my pregnancy, he really wasn’t involved with the emotional feeling that I was but I expected it. Well lately our relationship has become toxic with all the fighting, just verbal not physical and we don’t do it around our child. I’ve been wanting to cut off the relationship for a while now but he takes all of my paychecks and leaves me with $50 to have on my card at all times. I even told him to just let me pay half the rent, electricity and cable and I will pay for the car insurance since the car is under his name but it’s mine. I’ve told him that I will pay the title transfer fees and put it in my name so I can pay everything for that car even the mechanic issues since the car is pretty old so it had some problems a few months ago. He says yes but still takes all of my money so I can’t save money to move out so it’s hard then again I also still love him so I don’t make a fuss about it. We fight almost everyday expect for when I’m at work but he brushes it under the rug like after our fights, he will be nice and act as if we didn’t but then we start fighting again. I told him I would like to talk out our problems so the fighting will stop but he says it’s pointless and when we do try, it still ends up in a fight. Now I want another baby soon but I don’t want two different baby dads because of our situation.. I thought it would be weird. So the secret I have been keeping from him is, act like everything is cool and I won’t leave him so he will give me another baby then I will leave him a few months after the baby is born. I know it sounds wrong but I want two children and I don’t really see a future between us anymore. Ughhh, I hate this feeling. Sometimes I wish we never got together in the first place but I do love him and I couldn’t see my life without my child at all. Then a part of me just wants to tell him how I’m feeling while the other part is to get pregnant and leave a while after the baby is born. We probably won’t be trying again until next year so that’s a long time to have to stay without someone that you don’t really want but sometimes I get this feeling of not wanting to leave him because I do love him dearly. I don’t even know what I want at this point. There’s my confession of my secret.

UPDATE TO SITUATION AND COMMENTS:

no this is not a joke at all, I wouldn’t post it if it was 🙄🤨 first off we don’t really consider ourselves “step” anything, it may be by law but we’re more together than “step siblings” and no I don’t have to see him on holidays, his mom works on all holidays and I go up to my grandmothers to spend the holidays and he never went until we started dating. And so what if we broke up and we had to see each other afterwards because of our parents? We don’t have to be together because we have a child together, you do know that there are people out there that just have children together without being in a relationship and that is what I was most referring to. I never said I was going to leave him and never look back to where he wouldn’t see me or the babies?? Because I’m not that type of person and he is a wonderful father and I would never do that to him. I actually talked to him about it tonight and asked him if we were to break up for good if we could still have another child together because of our situation and he actually said yes and he means his words when it comes to family, in fact he said he has been wanting to tell me for a while now that if something were to happen to us that he would like me to be his only baby mama if we both wanted to have more kids because he feels the same way I do about our situation. I love how everyone is either laughing or not taking this seriously... why does everyone think it would be the worst idea?? Yeah I should have clarified things a lot more and yes I did say it was a bad idea but after talking to him about it, it actually turns out to a good idea for our family... I don’t know why people would assume that if I left him that I would never see him again? After all he is the father to my child and like I said I’m not that type of person so I have no clue where anyone would get that information from since I never said it or implied it. The only thing I implied was wanting to break up with him but wanting to have a baby first... and with the all the laughing and not taking me serious is not cool at all... I posted to get this off my chest not be your humor for the night. This is why I don’t like posting on this app because it’s always assuming and judging like we’re in high school.