I just turned 27 weeks pregnant with my 7th child, my second between my husband and I. We have been married for a year, 7 months and 20 days. I love him with all of my heart but can no longer take the emotional and mental abuse he puts me through. I have never done this as I have done everything to try and stay and work things out from working on myself to counseling with our pastor about these issues. But it never goes away. It will for a few weeks to a month but then happens again and the last time it happened I told him if it happened again I would not stay. I really believe he thinks I will never actually have the courage to go but I can no longer take it and now he is doing to my other children what he has done to me over and over. Here is what I am dealing with. He falsely accuses me of entertaining and talking to other men, he has even gone as far as bringing in male family members and this time it was my cousins husband whom we only see when we go to CHURCH! But this has been going on ever since about a week after we got married. And I can take no more. He accuses me of texting other men but has no proof not even phone records that he has access to to back up his accusations, he makes scenarios up in his mind and he truly believes them and that is what scares me the most. Now he is making up stories about my older children, saying they beg him to take their little brother with him on the road (he is a long haul driver) who is only 11 months old and has been sick all winter. I know my children and they are CRAZY about their baby brother and would never suggest such a thing. But I confronted them and asked them anyway if they had implied for him to take him and they were just as confused as me. So I told him and he called them all liars. I can’t believe what he is saying because he is making up lies about me texting and communicating with other men so how can I believe what he is saying about my children. So, I have made the scary decision to remove my children and I from this toxic situation until he truly seeks help and is better. No I am not filing for divorce. I still love him and would love to work this out but I can not fix him. Only God can and the ONLY thing I have not done this far is leave the situation to show him I will not accept this behavior and these accusations any longer. I’m heart broken. We have a beautiful baby boy turning 1 on Saturday and a baby girl due in May and 5 wonderful older children at home with us as well but I can only put up with so much before I say when is enough enough. I obviously can’t change him. He has been deeply wounded by people in his past and I am now the one paying the consequences for it. When he does this it feels like I’m dealing with an insane person. He doesn’t think rationally about anything’s day never has or NEEDS proof. All he needs are the thoughts in his mind and that’s enough for him. So right now he is in another state and I have packed up my suburban and wrote him a letter explaining in the best and most loving way I can why I have chosen to leave. I’m so scared right now. He gets so angry I’m afraid he is going to be vengeful and try to take my babies from me but what else can I do... I took pictures of the letter I wrote him so I can have proof of what I wrote and have a plethora of texts of just how irrational he is in these situations. I’m just praying I am making the right decision... any advice, prayer, or words of encouragement are deeply appreciated. I am going to post pictures of the letter I wrote...

UPDATE... after I left he got very radical and has been harassing me uncontrollably. He has gone from angry and threatening to telling me he will always love me to suicidal back to angry again because I have stopped responding completely to him. I got a protection order approved until I can get papers filed for separation and custody which I am going to file today. It is insane how extreme he has truly gone because I have made the decision to leave. I took our son to go see his mother (my sons grandmother) and he got angry with me and told me to stay away from her. What’s funny is this is nothing new to his family. He has done this multiple times to other women in the past, and come to find out his dad is the exact same way to a T! I just wish his family would have had enough courage to warn me of all of this before we got married but I also understand they always want to hope for the best for a family member that they have changed and will be different. I am going to try and find out today if he has been served with the protection order yet because he has continued to harass me over text relentlessly. At this rate we will never work things out. I refuse to subject me or any of my loved ones to this any longer...