One thing I've learned after having an emergency Csection.

I would rather have 5 vaginal deliveries in a row than be cut open and sown up ever again... I slept through the time I needed to take my meds by only 2 hours and it took me 15 mins just to get up from laying down. But after 5 vaginal deliveries I may feel the same about a c section? 🤔 Who knows. All I know is pain after a c section is no freakin joke. I cant even wear my pants or underwear or it hurts my incision.. I had to buy granny panties and I've been wearing sweats up to my belly button since I had my boys 🤷🏼‍♀️ no shame. Plus the gas pain in my shoulders stomach and lower back make me want to jump off a bridge. I cry about everything and I'm moody as hell. One minute I'm like super happy about everything and thinking about how blessed I am to have my 2 tiny boys in the best hospital they can possibly be at, and that I get to see them on my birthday.. The next minute I'm mad, in tears crying and blaming myself wondering what I did wrong and why my body couldn't have been a safe haven for my children like it was supposed to be till May. And I'm mad that my babies are almost 2 hrs away from me..

Im going though so much and I didnt even get to take my babies home... Plus my roommate keeps comparing my 2 and a half week hospital stay with preterm labor, emergency c section delivery that I did ALL ALONE because no one could make it in time, and my babies prolonged NICU stay to her normal vaginal delivery at 38 weeks and her babies DAY AND A HALF nicu stay because he had a VERY VERY minor fever and I wanna punch her in the throat.

Sorry. Just needed to vent a little bit. I'm up at 6 am pumping and crying because I cant decide even how I'm feeling right now... and I'm sure my husband is tired of hearing me complain 😂