I have a great marriage except my husband absolutely sucks with money and it drives me crazy. I’m very good with money myself but just recently lost my job so things have been tight. We were waiting to get our tax return back and my husband had it deposited into his account. He got upset when I told him it should be in our joint account because I felt it was more fair and safer. He took offense to me saying it was safer as a critique of his money management skills (which he knows aren’t good anyway but whatever). He agreed after apologizing for his reaction that I could move the money

Well today I checked his account (we have it so we can both see each other’s account) to move it and the money is gone. All of it. He socked 400 away for a future mortgage payment (but then transferred himself 50 😡) and then the rest was gone. As I scrolled through his account I saw he had gambled at least 500 bucks away and I was enraged. The rest is just gone in his miscellaneous money mismanagement. I’m on fertility meds and they definitely make you moodier but I just felt so angry. I asked him about it and he instantly started getting defensive and saying the reason our tax return was low anyway was because of me changing my exemptions and so he was basically implying I wasn’t entitled to any of that money anyway. Mind you my husband was wrongfully suspended from work and I changed my exemptions to cover his pay loss during that time so we could still pay our bills and changed it right back.

Long story short we got into a huge fight and I just wound up on the floor crying feeling like shit. I don’t have a job right now (been searching desperately only out of work a week) and my husband is the only source of income and he is not trustworthy to me. I feel so shattered. Anyone else dealt with this? I just feel like an idiot cuz he will beg me to trust that he is going to do better with money but then he does for a while and then starts screwing up again. I see why they call it financial infidelity because that’s what it is and I don’t know if I can have my trust broken even once more 😔.

Also we do go to marriage counseling regularly before someone suggests that. We missed this month but we usually go once a month.