In pain: physical and emotional

So today makes 4 days since my d&c and has been a pretty rough day. Have been cramping really bad tonight and my emptiness is starting to hit. I see so many friends who are pregnant and I get jealous. Then I read sick stories of poor babies being abandoned or hurt by these worthless people that call themselves parents and I ask God why then and why not me? Why did you take my baby away but yet give them healthy babies? Not ready to go back to work on Tuesday. Just want to stay home with my two boys and hide from the world.