This might be long (sorry)... I'm feeling the need to vent.

I feel like TTC is all I think about. I just started my period and have already calculated my projected ovulation date and the start of my next period as well as what my projected due date would be if we got pregnant this cycle.

I feel like I'm not as good at my job because my attention and my desires are too divided by me constantly thinking about TTC. (I teach elementary music and those kids definitely require 100%)

I worry that I'm wasting away perfectly good days and weeks and months just waiting to get a BFP and then being crushed when I dont get it.

It took us 2 years to conceive our beautiful 2 yr old daughter and 7 months to conceive again only to have it end in a chemical at exactly 5 wks. I ache each day thinking that I'm not making my daughter a big sister yet. I've always wanted my kids to be close in age.

I feel like I can only confide so much/so often in my husband because I know it pains and sometimes concerns him to see how much this effects me. I'm always afraid if I say/talk about my emotions regarding TTC too much or too often that he will say we need to stop for a while because it's not good for me. What he doesn't understand is that he isn't wrong, but not trying would he even worse for me!

I just feel defeated. Only WE know how truly hard this is.