This guy recently started hitting on me. Normally, I would state pretty flat-out that I’m not interested.

But, he got run over by A FUCKING SEMI-TRUCK pretty damn recently. He’s recovered, and is doing well for someone who got RUN OVER BY A GODDAMN SEMI-TRUCK. However, his friends have told me that his limp and scars acquired from the accident have caused him to become depressed and anxious (which is horrible and obviously I have empathy for him and am willing to support him as a friend!), and that he hasn’t had the courage to approach a girl since the accident (until lucky me!). Plus, the entire school knows exactly who he is now and I may get crucified if I don’t at least try with him.

I am scared that with my usual tactics, I might offend or hurt him in some way, which I really don’t want to do in this sensitive case. Plus, we go to the same school and are in the same year, so that could get pretty awkward. But, he’s an okay person, and I think I could stand a few pity dates.

Here are the weird solutions my kind, but stupid as hell, friends came up with:

1) Go on a few pity dates, after which they will artfully spread the rumor that I cheated or am a serial killer or something. Then, I will hope to hell that he’ll break up with me.

2) Actually date him.

3) Pity fuck him, then ignore him. (By far the least tactful and something I will not do. 😂😂😂)

4) Ghost him and move to another country.

So, I’d really appreciate it if y’all could come up with a better solution than those above, or tell me what you think I should do! I am hella struggling, please dispense unto me your ultimate wisdom. 💗💗💗