My husband and I are 13 yrs apart. He just turned 48 and I’m mid 30’s. We have been together for 14 1/2 yrs, longer than our age gap, and be married 10 in June. I had a son previous to our relationship and 2 kids together (16, 12, 10)

The past couple yrs our sex life has dwindled to it is almost non existent now. We talk about it and are very open to listening to each other. We make time for date nights about ever other week but every time we get home, it’s always an excuse as to why we can’t. I’ve tried on non-date nights for something .. anything! Even if it’s putting his hand directly on my boob and telling him I want to have sex and still nothing! He just rolls over and falls right to sleep. I think about all the things I didn’t do right throughout the day that would make him turn his back on me or cry myself to sleep most nights.

I’m literally just dying for something! I lay in bed and touch myself at least once a week or take my vibrator into the shower. He knows about this and basically says “do what you gotta do”. I wonder what it feels like to be in a “real” relationship or even to have an affair to feel a connection with someone and nothing more (I have never acted on this or given serious consideration). I just feel so awkward in my marriage that when he wants a kiss and says he loves me before rolling over every night I literally roll my eyes because this isn’t love to me. This is a roommate that shares a bed with me.

I don’t know if this means that our marriage is over.