Finally the moment we have dreamed of, prayed for, and worked towards: those 2 pink lines.

While we want to be so over-the-moon elated about this, we are terrified.

We lost a baby at 12 weeks during Christmas of 2017 and it was devastating. Months and months of unsuccessful trying has made us feel like we were never going to see these two pink lines ever again and now that they are here, we are fearing the worst.

We agreed to test every day for 5 days to make sure these lines continue to get darker and each morning I wake up and watch those lines get darker and darker I feel an ounce more peace that everything is good. But I asked my husband this morning, “when are we going to relax into this and be able to celebrate this beautiful blessing without fear of it being ripped from us again?” I am so encouraged by this progression, but what if it should be darker at this point? We HAVE to let it go and trust that we WILL meet this baby.

I love so hard and so deeply that it is killing me to be so guarded with my emotions. I am SO GRATEFUL to be given this gift, no matter the outcome. I just want breathe easy and KNOW everything is good.

If you have been through this before PLEASE tell me how you got through this fear and found peace. This platform has given me an insane amount of support during my entire TTC process and I know it’s not going to stop now. I feel so lucky to have so many beautiful, encouraging souls at my fingertips. 💕