After 10 years together and 5 years married, my husband just flat out grosses me out. I love him very much, he is a fantastic husband to me and father to our children.

But the man does not take care of himself. He will eat an entire frozen pizza by himself in one sitting... like he will bring the entire thing to the coffee table and just eat it in front of the tv. AS A SNACK. He will eat a minimum of 6 Oreos before bed every night. He does not brush his teeth before bed and NEVER sees the dentist. He has always been more of the “dad bod” type, with a hairier torso. But now he is past that and more into the “beer bod” and has 100% stopped grooming himself.

I don’t want to have sex with him. I have a healthy sex drive; I crave it as much as anyone. But it is difficult to want to have sex with him when his stomach gets in the way so much that there is really only 1 position he can do or that doesn’t leave me gasping for air. TMI, I know, but it’s where I’m at.

He is still attracted to me - or at least seems to be. He will grab my ass or try to make out with me, but I just can’t do it for very long bc I just... do not want him to touch me more than a hug.

I am not exactly the picture of health and sex appeal myself. But I definitely watch what I eat, try to work out fairly regularly and keep myself looking good.

I know I am being cruel, but I feel like i still put in a good amount of effort and he does nothing. We are only 31. It’s too early for this.

For total transparency, I had considered in the past having an affair. It was about a 1 minute consideration when an attractive male friend of mine expressed feelings for me (and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about jt) but I declined bc I could never hurt my husband like that. I no longer talk to that man, but I still feel bad that for a minute i thought “it would be nice to have enjoyable sex though...”

Am I being unreasonable to expect my husband to still try to be attractive to me when we’ve been together so long?

How can I change and make myself feel sexually drawn to him again?

Has anyone else experienced this??