An abortion is the LAST thing i ever wanted to do, but I work a minimum wage job mainly supporting myself, while trying to do school. I have no money for a baby. My boyfriend quits his jobs every other week it seems and I started to not be able to rely on him financially. My body also wasn’t prepared for a baby. I have a thyroid condition that’s newly diagnosed and im still on a trial and run with medicine to get it under control. I have a small mass on my right nodule thats too small for a biopsy and too soon to tell if it’s anything dangerous so that’s also a waiting game. It was just the worst timing, and he was nowhere near ready to be a father. I’m not sure if he ever should, so with no family support and nowhere else to turn i had to get the abortion. I cried a lot during my pregnancy.

I was sick majority of it. I missed work a lot and i started to lose weight. On February 22nd i was finally ready to do it. I had the money I earned from when I could work and it was the soonest appointment. I went in thinking i was 12 weeks, but the ultrasound showed i was further along. It took my breath away to see an actual baby growing inside me. It was my first time ever seeing it. A little part of me died. Another part of me wanted to run away and be a mother all on my own just like I felt. But how would i feed my child? How would i keep a roof over our heads?

On February 22nd, 2019 approximately at noon i scared my soul, and a part of me died with my child. I hurt so bad i feel like the pain is bigger than me, like it just swallows me whole. I feel like I should have fought. No matter how broke i was, or alone or how sick my body got I should have fought! But no matter how i tried to see a way for it to work i saw it going nowhere but disaster